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Posts: 4,379
Location: United Kingdom
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I keep getting emails from people who tell me they are engineers of one description or another... so rather than keep doing the chat by PM, I thought I'd start a thread. Are you an engineer? What have you built? Does anyone trust you with a spanner?
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Posts: 4,379
Location: United Kingdom
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My answers are... Are you an engineer? Yes! Best thing I've built that people can see is some DAB radio software - it's used by most of the radio stations in the UK and most of the DAB transmissions around the world. (Not that I like DAB radio, you understand - it's just neat that it's used so much!) Nobody would trust me with a spanner twice...
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Posts: 539
Location: Within a stone's throw of Agatha Cristie's grave
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Technically, yes, I am an Engineer - although I haven't really "engineered" for the last 10 years
Best thing I've built - a twenty-five year long marriage and four lovely children - I might have stretched the intent of your question with that answer so, and more "engineer" answer would be a go-cart out of plumbing supplies and Duck Tape as part of a training course last year (my team won!!)
Spanner? What's that...?
Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed. ~Charles Schulz, Peanuts
Ich sehe gerne zu, würde aber lieber nicht selbst mitmachen
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Posts: 59
Location: United Kingdom
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My answers are:-
Yes, I'm a building services design engineer, although I haven't truly designed for the best part of 10 years. Now, I've sidetracked and I'm a technical writer, producing health and safety files for buildings, product literature, training courses and software manuals amongst other things.
Amongst other things, I designed the services for Barnsley Metrodome, I was a designer co-ordinator at the original Canary Wharf, I designed the services for one of the options for the Dome (not the final one), I've written health and safety files for various projects at the Houses of Parliament and I'm working at present on the H&S file for the moving roof that's being installed on Wimbledon Centre Court (and no, I can't get cheap tickets).
Nobody would trust me with a spanner once, let alone twice...I can write very detailed instructions on how to do it, but, when it comes to physically doing it, well!
No wonder I'm ...G-G-Grumpy
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Posts: 4,379
Location: United Kingdom
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Quote:
The Average Math Knowledge of Society
Two mathematicians, Joe and Richard , were having dinner in a restaurant. They were arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. Richard claimed that this average was woefully inadequate while Joe maintained that it was surpassingly high.
"I'll tell you what, " said Richard, "when I get back from the bathroom we'll ask our waitress a simple calculus question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do, okay?"
They agreed, but once he'd left Joe called the waitress over. "When my friend comes back, " he told her, " he's going to ask you a question; you should respond 'one third x cubed' no matter what the question is; got that? There's twenty bucks in it for you." She happily agreed to the gag.
Richard returned from the men's room and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful," he stated, "incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?"
The waitress looked startled, then pensive, almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet , made gurgling noises, (Joe was starting to sweat) and finally said, "Umm, one third x cubed?"
Joe beamed in relief as an astonished Richard paid the check and a clearly irritated waitress muttered under her breath, "... plus a constant."
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Posts: 122
Location: United Kingdom
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OMG, an Engineer thread, how wonderful... My name is Farnie and I am an Engineer. Started off as an electrical and electronics eng and then did a mech degree. I make things all the time. (can we upload photos) I design and commission large water (and sometimes sewage) pumps. And yes, if you have a brain in your head you would trust me with a spanner. In fact I will be on site spannering all day tomorrow 
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Posts: 13
Location: United States
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Are you an engineer?
Yes, if software counts
What have you built?
an OLE DB provider, some web applications, and experimental databases management systems (i.e. I wrote some papers but AFAIK nobody really uses them).
Does anyone trust you with a spanner?
Not likely. I don't know if they should trust me with a compiler either -- I was trained as a Mathematician.
Holly -- I don't know about schools these days, everyone forgets to add that constant when they integrate.
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Posts: 4,379
Location: United Kingdom
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rolfe - I'm hoping software engineering does count... but when I've come up against "proper" engineers it's been scary - I worked in a paper mill once in Roermond in Holland - they were like proper engineers.
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Posts: 4,379
Location: United Kingdom
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Oh Farnie - love the new picture :)
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Posts: 59
Location: United Kingdom
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Hollywoof wrote: I worked in a paper mill once in Roermond in Holland - they were like proper engineers. I've designed the mechanical and electrical services for two paper mills in the UK and the equipment they use really is heavy engineering...the best bit was that it was a joint venture with the Finnish arm of the company I worked for, so I spent a lot of time working hard and playing hard in Helsinki. Grumpy
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Posts: 73
Location: In a house made of cheese
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*walks into thread*
*Realises it is for engineers *not* mathematicians*
*Runs away quickly*
"If you haven't an excess of everything when you are young, what are you going to pare off as the years go by?" Sir John Barbirolii
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Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
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Never seen an engineer / runners thread in my life - great idea! I'm a civil engineer and I project manage heavy infrastructure works associated with a large regeneration projects. Spanners? - what are they?
Deeks
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